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Chris got me started on the topic of this post by asking if
I’ve heard of Amedei organic chocolates.
No, I haven’t.
We’re in the midst of a growing chocolate craze. OK, maybe it’s more like we’re watching a
tiny little dust storm of chocolate mania.
But you can’t deny the fact that more and more people are seeking out designer
chocolates, chocolate tastings, and organic or free trade chocolate. (I should include a footnote citing some evidence
here, but I’m too lazy to do that). This
doesn’t mean, however, that most people’s chocolate experiences take them beyond
nestle, hershey’s, and lindt. When I
meet someone who has an interest in what I do, I usually ask her if she likes
chocolate. Often, her eyes will gleam
and her posture will melt ever so slightly (as if fantasizing about Brad Pitt)
and she’ll exclaim in a throaty voice reserved for statements of passion, “Oh
yeah, I LOVE chocolate.” At this point, I
smile in expectation of an engaged discussion (one that you yearn to have
often, but never have because no one seems to share your nerdy interest), and I
ask, “What’s your favorite chocolate?” She’ll
fidget a little and say something like, “Yeah, I like dark chocolate,” or “I’m
not sure, I haven’t really paid attention to kinds of chocolate.” Recently, in order to be less intimidating, I’ve
started to ask, “Do you have a favorite chocolate?” but the answers remain the
same.
So, in this post, I’m going to fulfill a fantasy. Call it Jerome’s version of the Make A Wish
Foundation. The Foundation, through its
undying generosity, has created a conversation about chocolate in which I am a
participant. What I say in the
conversation follows:
“Oh, yeah. The El Ray
white chocolate is one of my favorites too.
I also like the Valrhona white.
Always makes anything with white chocolate taste better.”
“But have you had their Manjari 64%? World famous.
Beautifully aggressive cherry notes.
So distinctive. But all of
Valrhona’s chocolates are great. And you
know what? If I HAD to choose a favorite
chocolate, it would be the Valrhona Tanariva milk chocolate. I might be wrong, but I think they just came
out with it a couple of years ago. Anyway,
I just don’t know how they get so much natural caramel/toffee flavor out of
their beans! Could eat it all day. Of course, I’d throw it all up because it’s
just plain disgusting to eat all that chocolate. I wonder how much chocolate I could eat in 24
hours…”
“I know. I’m not all that
up to date on the organic stuff either.”
“Booja booja. Hmmm, I’ll
have to try it out. I’m glad to hear
that you like it because I wonder how good a lot of these organic chocolates
really are. It seems that a lot of
people are getting into the business just to capitalize on one of the fastest
growing segments in the food industry.”
“Hahaha! That’s so
funny. My neighbor had a cat just like
that.”
“Yeah, get a chocolate thermometer from the cakestore, get a
package of couverture, and follow the temperature guides on the package. If you use a microwave, don’t put the
chocolate in for more than 40 seconds in the beginning and no more than 10 seconds near the end. Stir throughout the entire
process, and I think you’ll be successful.”
“Well, gotta run! My limo’s
waiting for me.”
“A photo shoot.
Keep in touch!”
End scene.
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| OK, I was just online playing in a freeroll tournament and the most unusual thing happened. I got pocket queens, but I didn't play it because two other players were all-in. Ultimately, if I played, I would have won the hand and vaulted into 19th place. THEN on the next hand I got pocket aces! Won the hand. THEN on the next hand I got pocket kings!!! I was on a hot streak so I decided to throw caution into the wind and meet one other player's all-in. Plus, pre-flop, this guy had raised a substantial amount so probably had pocket pairs, but what were the chances that he'd have pocket aces especially since I just had them the hand before. At the time there was a 8, 7, and a 2 on the flop or something like that. He ends up winning with four-of-a-kind aces! He had pocket fuckin' aces! Amazing stuff. Those last three hands absolutely filled me with awe. At the time I was ranked 90th out of 430 players. Started with 1024 players. Except when I know I have the nuts, I don't think I'll ever again go all-in with that many players left in the tournament - no matter how hot I feel. But amazing stuff. Had to memorialize it.
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Alas, foie is counting down its last days in Chicago. I consider myself a principled kinda guy, but
there are a lot of issues in this world that I could go either way on. Foie is one of them. How do I feel about the Chicago City
council banning the sale of foie? I find
it interesting and that’s about all I can say about it. If you can detach yourself from the image of
a duck or goose being force-fed through a tube affixed to its neck, then eating
foie is a wonderful experience. But it’s
not so wonderful that I can’t imagine living without it. There’s always Pizza Hut pan pizza crust – it’s
almost as greasy an experience. Spread
some chopped chicken liver on the crust and it might taste the same as foie. Anyway, you know who sounds stupid? Those chefs who say that the government shouldn’t
dictate what people can eat. If Swift was grinding up Mexican babies for their sausage,
wouldn’t you say that the government should step in? And the government already regulates what
food we eat through minimal quality control, production regulations, banning harmful
ingredients, or banning importation of certain foods. If chefs really want to put foie back on
menus in Chicago,
then do what the anti-foie gras folks did - use the democratic process. I had dinner tonight at Spicy and Tasty, a Szechuan restaurant
in Flushing.
There were two dishes worth commenting on. First was an appetizer of cooked octopus in a
wasabi vinaigrette of some sort. It was spicy
and tasty. Second was a sushi boat
filled with long and narrow shellfish about 8” long. The meat was long and narrow two…tasted
somewhat neutral and topped with herb oil that had a touch of garlic in it. ANYONE KNOW WHAT THESE SHELLFISH ARE CALLED
IN ENGLISH?
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| So back to the ranking of music. Let's pretend that you're listening to one of Beethoven's final quartets. As the sounds pass through your ears and filter through your brain, how do you process those sounds? You could just sit back, stop thinking and just enjoy. The music fills you with emotion spontaneously - something about the composition just moves you. Or you may be filled with nostalgia because it reminds you of your mom playing that piece on the stereo when you were young. All this would be listening to the piece hedonistically. But you could also listen analytically by engaging your cognitive abilities. You may realize that Beethoven is deaf when he wrote this quartet. Or that it was revolutionary when it debuted and that no one had ever heard music like it. Or you recognize the fantastic chord structures. This kind of analysis can fill you with deep wonder and mesmerize you. Both kinds of listening, hedonistic and analytical, provide pleasure, but in different ways. Sometimes you like to indulge in both. Sometimes only one. Sometimes the other. Each has its own unexplainable qualities. And here's my point, the same goes for food.
People have different tastes so they taste things differently, hedonistically. But they also have different analytical abilities too. That all depends on experience and knowledge. Let's imagine that my friend, who has very little experience eating or making pastries, eats a lemon tart, the first one he's ever had. He'll probably eat more hedonistically and provide a little analysis and say that it's too acidic or too sweet or a decent balance between the two. When I eat that tart, I'll notice the acidity and sweetness, but I'll also look at the quality of shine on the curd, notice the mouthfeel of the curd, and check the thickness, uniformity, and freshness of the tart shell. Pretend we both agree that the tart is very sour. And let's say that I find the tart acceptable because of its craftsmanship, but my friend hates it purely because of flavor…who's right? I am.
I'm just kidding. I think this dichotomy of tasting explains why one of our room service attendants hates a lot of our homemade "higher-end" desserts. She won't eat our freshly-spun vanilla ice cream made with real tahitian vanilla beans, but she'll devour the factory made mousse cakes that are made with cheap chocolate and loads of sugar.
She's so wrong.
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People tend to put the quality of food on a strict linear
continuum from best to worst. To me
that’s strange because it seems to me that food, and the restaurants they’re
served in, is the only unquantifiable thing that is ranked from best to
worst. Anything that can be quantified,
e.g. batting average or laptop speed, can and probably should be ranked. But when FHM lists the 100 hottest women of
2006 or when WFUV lists the best albums of 2005, no one seriously thinks, “I
knew it! Scarlett Johansson IS the
hottest girl on the planet!” or “Yep, no doubt about it, Devil’s and Dust was
the best album of the year!” Why? Because people have different tastes, and
this is what people need to realize when it comes to food. Despite this, rankings of restaurants (and I’m
not talking surveys) are growing incredibly popular. Michelin came out with a restaurant guide for
New York a few months ago and it’s unveiling a
San Francisco
edition later this year. Even New York
Magazine has jumped into the fray and offered the Platt 101 list. Note, however, that Adam Platt stated that
his task was the result of “reckless, possibly insane whimsy,” acknowledging
the ridiculousness of ranking restaurants.
So why did he do it? “Because
people seem to enjoy this sort of thing.”
I think more to the point, way too many people seem to believe that
ranking restaurants is an objective, not a subjective, sport.
So back to the ranking of women. Imagine this scenario: you’re a man and
you’re by the water cooler with John, your co-worker, and the new girl Emily
walks by. Under your breath you say,
“Damn she’s fine. Look at that ass…and
those legs.” John replies, “Eh, doesn’t
do it for me. Butt’s too big, no chest,
and her face is busted.” Who’s wrong
about Emily? You are. At this point John should take you aside and
school you on how to appreciate truly fine women. I’m just kidding, of course. No one is wrong about Emily. Everyone decides if they like something based
on their own criteria. You may be a leg
man. You may be a chest man. You may be “what’s counts is what’s on the
inside” guy. (Pause for laughter). Same goes with food. A simple example is that some people like
onions and some people don’t. Are you
wrong if you don’t like onions?
(rhetorical question). But it can
get more complicated than liking or not liking onions. To be continued in part II.
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